home on halloween….

October 31, 2009 on 7:11 pm | In Life | Comments Off

so i decided to stay in tonight. its halloween in nyc. i can look out my window right now and see the streets blocked off, tons of people in costumes walking around, i hear people talking, laughing….even the dogs are out with their costumes on. halloween in nyc reminds me of new years eve….everyone is out! the nyc halloween parade is huge…i missed it last year because i was dieting and actually competing the next day. here i am 2 weeks out from another show lol…damn will i ever make it to the halloween parade? i was planning on going, dressing up and checking out the scene. ive been feeling rundown and fighting a cold…stuffy & sore throat. it comes & goes. as bad as i wanted to go out tonight, i thought staying in would be better in the long run. dont want to get sick. if i get sick…i miss the gym, miss work, miss cardio sessions. cant afford that now. my immune system isnt 100%, im hungry, tired. there will be plenty more halloween bashes to attend. but there is only one shot at doing my best come november 14th at the easterns.

some of my favorite memories on halloween were when my brother & i would take off & go trick or treating and go all night long. we were determined to get as much candy as possible. we would come home and pour it all on the floor to see how big our pile was. then me being the mean bratty sister would always con my brother into trading candy that i didnt want for his good stuff…lol ahhh the luxuries of being the oldest ; ) HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYBODY!!!

looking back on the trails…

October 28, 2009 on 8:17 pm | In Life | Comments Off

20378-016-004fDSC00508_DSC00520been thinking alot about the trails….i use to participate in trail runs back home in california. now i will be serious…im not a runner lol. but there was a time, few years ago when i wanted to be a runner. hell i was even a subscriber to runner magazine. something about running…feeling free, like you could go forever. i found this site called envirosports.com on this site you will find many trail runs through california. mostly northern cal. ive done the big sur, napa valley and stinson beach trail runs. the scenery on these trail runs are beyond the imagination. so alluring, so undisturbed. some areas i can remember walking through and i just stopped and listened. it was silent. like i was the only one out there.

i look forward to doing more of these runs again when i move back to california. i had some of the best times doing them with my mom & aunt. here are a few pics from the stinson beach run i did back in november 07…

H U N G R Y ! ! !

October 27, 2009 on 11:07 pm | In Contest Prep/Competing | Comments Off

HUNGRY for food….HUNGRY to get on stage….HUNGRY to improve….HUNGRY to move back to California….HUNGRY to start a new career path….HUNGRY to go back home to visit family….HUNGRY to see the end of this contest prep….HUNGRY to start taking baking classes again….HUNGRY to get back to a balanced life….HUNGRY for food….oh wait i said that already didnt i? ; )

so many thoughts & visions running through my head these days. my mind has been all over the place. need to stay focused & on track. im close…so very close. these next two shows are a few weeks away. it use to be months, now im at days. im feeling drained, feeling weak, feeling small, feeling lean, feeling right where i need to be….i guess! i have my doubts but thats when i talk to myself and believe i have already accomplished so much. just need to push through these final weeks and i will be there.

i had a head cold these past couple days…feeling a lil rundown too. yesterday i didnt step foot in the gym. today i went and only did my cardio. the weight training would of really done me in. hopefully tomorrow i will feel alot better & i can get back at my normal training routine.

okay…gonna go take peanut out & get ready for bed….goodnight!

eastern usa’s in 3 wks….

October 23, 2009 on 7:48 pm | In Contest Prep/Competing | Comments Off

3 weeks from tonight i will be chillin watching some tv relaxing and applying the final coats of my protan. oh man am i looking forward to november 14th. the eastern usa’s…i did this show last year, took 2nd. its a great show, the biggest one that bev francis puts on. usually alot of good competitors come out to compete as a warm up for nationals or to requalify.

im at 2 hrs and 15 min of cardio a day. ive never done this much cardio getting ready for a show but then ive never been as lean as i am now. so i guess that tells me something…cardio is key for me! along with the keto diet im on. im very happy with the results & working with dave palumbo this time around for my contest prep. it has been by far the hardest prep…but with this prep i have gotten the best results. none of this is easy so if your going to put yourself through the diet, training, hours of cardio and low energy…you might as well do what works for you.

today i trained back. im not able to train as heavy as i would like or do as many sets but its not about putting on any muscle right now and i have to remember that. i already have bad tendonitis in my forearms which limits my back & bicep workouts. did my cardio and boy am i happy the weekend is here. even though i dont have anything planned and will probably just train and relax im happy tomorrow is saturday. i still have my cheat meal which im sure it will be takin out this weekend. i dont wanna jinx it but i am just preparing myself lol. last saturday i had subway and some frozen yogurt with reeses peanut butter cups. kinda took it easy & didnt go too crazy as dave said not too. so tomorrow i may make a couple peanut butter & jelly sandwiches because i have been craving them so bad. i miss the simple things in life like pb & j LOL.

alright,…time to kick back for the night. im exhausted. happy friday all! xox

billy’s is the spot…

October 22, 2009 on 7:06 pm | In Life | Comments Off

billys-bakery-1434310418_6626ea7d69cupcklgthere is this cute lil bakery about 2 blocks from my place. sometimes i like to walk past it in the morning when im walking peanut. billy’s bakery its a popular place here in chelsea manhatten. there is always a crowd of people inside getting there goodies. whether it be early in the morning or late at night. their cupcakes are to die for. as you walk by you can look in the window and see the employees making the baked goods & icing the cupcakes. it looks fun! now that i have some of these baking classes under my belt and will continue to take more i think i may consider getting a part time job in a bakery to see if this fullfills my curiosity about the pastry/baking biz. BUT first things first….i need to wait til AFTER my shows in november. so for now…walks past billy’s will have to do.

dieting in 2009

October 21, 2009 on 10:43 pm | In Contest Prep/Competing | Comments Off

as i get closer to these shows i keep counting down the days. wish they would go faster. look forward to one less week. its crazy how i really want time to just fly by. no time for smelling the roses…hell i want contest time to be here NOW! i dieted for a total of 14 wks for the two shows i did in june. had july to kinda relax or whatever then it was august 1st that i started my prep for these two shows coming up in november. it will be a total of 16 wks come november 21st. damn that is a long fucking time to be focusing on shows. not only the diet but the cardio & training as well. 14 wks & 16 wks is 30 wks of contest prep. that is lil over 7.5 months. damn thats over half the year haha! sorry for all the math!!! ; )
i dont know how people do more than two shows a year. my hats off to them.

3.5 weeks til the easterns…im getting excited!!!

countdown to the mojito…

October 20, 2009 on 11:38 pm | In Contest Prep/Competing | Comments Off

mojitogetting close…everyday i get thru it is one day closer to showtime. im pushing each & everyday to get to the end of this. i have some mixed emotions about competing & i know it is a result of me going through this burnout stage. i look forward to a break from the stage and all the other things that life has to offer!
but until then i will continue to put everything i have into these next 32 days…november 21st is my last show of the year. it will be in ft lauderdale FL. a place i have never been. i cannot wait to be in the sun, enjoy some good meals and last but not least…have a mojito on the beach! ahhh now were talkin ; )

frazzzzzzzzled!!!

October 16, 2009 on 10:34 pm | In Contest Prep/Competing, Life | Comments Off

man am i feeling the 4 weeks out exhaustion. my strength & energy has dropped alot this past week. im sure the 2hrs of cardio a day doesnt help but damn all i want to do is be lazy when im not in the gym. so glad the weekend is here. its gotten cold here so im really not up for walking around outside. they turned the heat on in the building so it gets pretty damn warm in the apartment. it feels great when you come in from outside or get out of the shower but sometimes i have to crack the window so some of the heat will go out. and to think i am paying for that shit! yeah…part of the maintanence fee. we have no control over the temp in the building. something i had to get used to when i moved to nyc. i remember when i was living in cali i would freeze my ass off & sleep with my beanie & gloves on because i was too poor to turn the heat up. that and a tight wad haha.

well im gonna chill & watch the rest of the baseball game. i may live in nyc but im not a new yorker and i am NOT a yankee fan!! wouldnt it be great if the anaheim angels & the LA dodgers went to the world series??? sorry east coast ; )

goodnight all!!! X♥O

pushing the limits…

October 14, 2009 on 9:18 pm | In Contest Prep/Competing, Contests | Comments Off

DSC_0605we are all defined to some extent by our limits. what stimulates, excites, and inspires one person may fatigue or overwhelm another. everyones personal limits are different. 

i push & push myself in the gym. day in & day out. sweating, suffering, hurting…but in the end i know i can achieve what i set out to do, even better this time around. the cardio is repetitive, dull, long. the diet is agonizing. every moment i feel hungry. food is on my mind…its very unpleasant at times. my mind is going, going, going. its hard to relax at times. always talking to myslef. “just 10 more minutes, mmm where am i gonna go after the show & eat, gotta go back to the gym and train & finish my cardio, 4.5 more weeks, gotta order my tanning stuff, omg i want pancakes, i need to practice my routine, 20 minutes on bike 20 on elliptical 20 on treadmill, i can do this…” my mind has been consumed with these two shows next month. im very tired & burned out but my spirit gets a jolt of intensity when i think about getting on stage again.  

i thought last time i pushed myself to my limit. each time i realize that i can be better. push myself harder & stronger so i can be my personal best….better than last time. once i think i have reached my limit…i realize that my limit can be pushed just that much harder. its a personal destination, it teaches me alot about myself…it defines who i am. xox

central cruisin…

October 13, 2009 on 2:26 pm | In Life | Comments Off

CentralParkyesterday i said screw the laundry, forget about work im going to go enjoy the outdoors. woke up did my cardio to get that out of the way. timothy & i hoped on the train and went out to cenrtral park for a few hours. i wanted to go out there to get away from the city, the apartment and the computer. it was nice to walk around & look at all the green grass and trees. walking in very secluded areas made you stop & just listen to the birds chirping or the squirrels running through the dead leaves on the ground. it was very peaceful & relaxing, i appreciate stuff like that. i appreciate the times when i can get out in the open with nature. just sit there and hear myself breathe. no one is around….its a very tranquil place. ahhhhhh

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